Tiger Woods Donating Mobile Hospital To Earthquake Victims

14 Jan

Tiger Woods, professional golfer and professional lover, is reportedly going to donate an entire mobile hospital to the victims of the recent earthquake in Haiti. The news came by way of Russell Simmons’ Twitter. Since the world pretty much hates Tiger Woods right now, let’s just say that he owes it to us. Not sex, the not being an asshole thing.


“Tiger Woods is “doing something amazing,” according to a tweet from Def Jam co-founder Russell Simmons. A follow-up tweet says, “I heard tiger woods donating to send a cargo plane with a mobile hospital out there. Keep our prayers high!”

If Simmons tweets are true, it would be similar to the advice Fox Sports and Kansas City Starsportswriter Jason Whitlock dispensed on Twitter last night: “if I’m Tiger, I park a big luxury liner off the coast of Haiti and me and Rachel Uchitel pass out $10 mil in bottled water.””

Dear Tiger Woods,

Don’t be a dick.

Love, Max Powers


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