Cats Suck Pt. II

14 Jul

Cats Tend to Let Themselves Go

Not only are cats lazy as fuck, they’re also whiny, little assholes. They nag you when they’re hungry using loud purrs (similar to baby cries) that irritate you to the point where you drop everything you’re doing to feed them, just so that they can shut up. Cats mouths are good for one thing, licking fur off their bodies, only to throw it back up and ruin your new carpet. God, cats are such douchebags, and I’m not the only one that thinks so. For some reason, scientists thought it was a good idea to decipher different types of cat purrs. 

[via] Hit the link to hear the different purrs…if you’re really that interested.

“Cat owners will know the feeling. Your pet is purring loudly, demanding to be fed, and isn’t going to give up until it gets what it wants. What most doting owners won’t realise is that the cat is using an acoustic ruse.

According to Karen McComb of the University of Sussex, UK, domestic cats hide a plaintive cry within their purrs that both irritates owners and appeals to their nurturing instincts.

When the team examined the sound spectrum of the solicitation purrs they saw an unusual peak in the 220 to 520-hertz frequency range embedded in the much lower frequencies of the usual purr. Babies’ cries have a similar frequency range, 300 to 600 hertz, McComb says.”

So basically, your cat is a coniving you into giving it what it wants. If I wasn’t extremely allergic to cats, I would gather as many as I could into one room, spray them with water, then run a current throughout the whole room and watch them fall to the ground…defeated. Then I’d laugh while petting my dog. He’d probably be laughing too.


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