Crop Circle Culprits: Stoned Wallabies

25 Jun


I’ve always liked to think that crop circles were made by some form of higher intelligence, or incredibly creative drunk teenagers that have nothing better to do. The truth however, sounds a little more far-fetched…it’s fucking stoned wallabies, the retarded cousins of the kangaroo. They get into these opium fields and start eating opium poppies like they’re jellybeans.


“”The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles,” Lara Giddings told the hearing.

“Then they crash,” she added. “We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.””

I smell fake all over this story. There’s no way some random hopping can produce vivid and artistic images. Why can’t they just say it’s aliens? It’s probably aliens. No, it’s definitely aliens.




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