Great White Sharks Are Good At Killing Things

22 Jun


Contrary to what you might think,  a Great White shark doesn’t just parade into a group of seals then opens its mouth hoping that something falls in–there’s some method to the madness. We often think of sharks as brainless killers, taking a stab at anything that moves. They don’t barge into a party uninvited; they strategically side step their way inside completely unnoticed. Then, they have sex with the hottest girl there. And by have sex, I mean eat seal meat. And by eat seal meat, I don’t mean penis.


“The sharks hang back and observe from a not-too-close, not-too-far base, hunt strategically, and learn from previous attempts, according to a study being published online Monday in the Journal of Zoology. Researchers used a serial killer profiling method to figure out just how the fearsome ocean predator hunts, something that’s been hard to observe beneath the surface.

They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills. And they attacked from below, unseen.”

This could easily describe how to nail a drunk chick at the party/how to rape a girl if you replace some of the words.




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